The last time I wrote one of our devotions, I was writing about the value of prayer – no matter what the outcomes may be. About how when we pray, we are connecting with God and being changed forever and for the better in the presence of God, even when things don’t go the way we hoped they would…
Never could I have imagined how soon or how intensely many of us would be learning this lesson. How soon we would be collectively entering into the Wilderness of Not-What-We-Expected.
At LifeGroup on Monday, we pressed pause on Uncle Perry’s book and spent our time together remembering our friend and brother, David. As we shared story after story certain themes began to surface and echo among us… the love for worshiping God and leading others to praise Him; the quiet steadfastness and gentleness of a faithful follower of Jesus; the humility and teachable spirit to ask tough questions, and the patient perseverance to make the necessary changes; the power of a smile.
When we had heard the news of David’s sudden death, I remember thinking about how deeply disappointing all of this was. I thought about how sad David would be to know that his prayers for healing had not been answered… I imagined the heartbreak the rest of the Headlams would be experiencing and my spirits dropped.
It wasn’t until we were worshiping together later that day during Sunday Celebration that my perspective began to shift.
Disappointment is actually the furthest thing from David’s mind!!
MY GOODNESS!!
David has joined the saints and angels in endless praise before the Lamb Who Was Slain!! This is WAY better than any worship conference he ever attended. He is literally experiencing the real deal 24/7 prayer that every 24/7 prayer event has been modelled after!
David’s body, with all of its pain, illness and complications, is simply no longer his reality. He is healthier and more healed up and whole than he ever was on this earth and I do not think he would tell us that it is a disappointing thing.
And yet we still feel shocked and saddened, disappointed and caught off guard… and that is okay.
We are allowed to feel all of those things and the many, many other feelings that accompany grief. In fact, it’s important for us to feel these things and to acknowledge where we’re at. And to persist in prayer. To persist in spending time in the presence of God – even if it’s in tears of silent disbelief.
If you’re feeling a little stuck and unsure how to “enter in” or to hear God today, I want to:
a) Reassure you and remind you that those feelings and stuck-ness are valid and real and nothing to be ashamed of!!
b) Offer you the words of another David to give you a little nudge towards God and perspective shifting…
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.(Psalm 139:7-12)
** NOTE: If you are experiencing overwhelming grief or anxiety and need to speak to someone, please do not hesitate to reach out to our Pastoral Team! Experiencing sudden loss can be triggering to past grief and we want to remind you that you are not alone.
Although we are not counsellors or medical professionals, we are here and we are ready to listen and support you during this difficult time. We are right in it with you. These are the moments we must lean on one another rather than moving further away
We love you and we are praying for peace and comfort to surround each and every one of you!