As I was reading Acts 13, verse 22 struck a chord in my heart.
Acts 13:22 (NIV)
22 After removing Saul, he made David their king. God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’
Many of us are familiar with God’s words concerning David as being a man after His own heart, and willing to do everything He wanted him to do. We often use these words as a way to realign and posture ourselves in our relationship with God, reminding ourselves that He is Lord.
I remember when I was younger, I would pray to God to be a man after His own heart and be willing to do everything He wants me to do. At the time, it was a noble prayer, one of passion and a desire to be used by God.
Today, I find myself reflecting on my life and asking myself, am I willing to say that prayer again, again and again? The older I get the more exposed to the things of this world and the many opportunities there are available to us. My ambitions when I was 16 years old are completely different from what they are today. I’ve tasted and seen the world, just as much as I’ve tasted and seen God. I have many desires in my heart but I am unsure of where they might have come from. I have had to put the desires of my heart into question in order to see where the root of the desires lie.
I’ll use a fairly neutral example. Let’s say you travel to a new place in the world and come back home. Most likely, you will want to do more traveling and see other parts of the world. You may even develop a desire to travel the world and visit as many places as you possibly can in your lifetime. There is nothing wrong with this desire as it has the potential for countless opportunities to experience new and exciting things.
But what happens when what you desire conflicts with what God is asking you to do?
Siang-Yang shared a story of his friend who had planned many speaking engagements for the year and was in the middle of writing a couple books when God told him to take the year off and do nothing. AND HE DID?!
If you are like me, you might start the process of bargaining with the Lord or trying to pull a “Saul” which I would describe as a two birds one stone approach, trying to please God and man. You may be familiar with the passages:
1 Samuel 15:19-26 (NIV)
19 Why did you not obey the Lord? Why did you pounce on the plunder and do evil in the eyes of the Lord?”
20 “But I did obey the Lord,” Saul said. “I went on the mission the Lord assigned me. I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king. 21 The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the Lord your God at Gilgal.”
22 But Samuel replied:
“Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the Lord?
To obey is better than sacrifice
and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination
and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the Lord,
he has rejected you as king.”
24 Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned. I violated the Lord’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men and so I gave in to them. 25 Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord.”
26 But Samuel said to him, “I will not go back with you. You have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you as king over Israel!”
Sometimes we may try and have our desires and God’s at the same time. We might say things like “Okay God, I’m cool with that but it can only be on these days at these times,” or “I’m planning on doing this so after that I’ll be ready to go.”
Now I’m not saying that they can’t be one in the same because it is totally possible. Many of us have quoted Psalm 37:4 (NIV) “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” as a promise that they can be, but let us not stop reading there and continue to verse 5 & 6 that says “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.’
There seems to be a requirement of committing our ways to the Lord and I believe this includes the desires of our heart. David offers a prayer that demonstrates this process:
Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)
23 Search me, God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.
As I reflect on my heart, my desires, my ambitions and goals, I ask myself: Am I willing to be a man after God’s own heart? Am I willing to do everything He wants me to do?
Joe reminded me of a quote Siang-Yang said “I live, I serve, I die. If I lived this life right, Jesus will be remembered.”
If I’m being honest and really digging deep and looking at my life, I’m not sure if my life reflects this right now. I am challenged with the scriptures in Matthew 16:24-26 (NIV):
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?
My prayer for you Lifespring as well as myself, is that we would be a people after God’s own heart and be willing to do everything he wants us to do. May we continue to surrender the desires of our heart and pray Psalms 139:23-24 over and over again, from season to season. May our lives reflect Jesus and may He be remembered when it’s all said and done. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen!