I was able to attend the Toronto Children’s Ministry Conference with some of our shepherds last weekend, and I really enjoyed learning from a lot of great speakers and workshop presentors. One of my favorite workshops was “Flourishing as a Ministry Leader”.
The presentor, Nicki Straza, defined flourishing as “the whole of yourself is doing well” and went over the different ways and aspects of us that are a part of flourishing and how we can take care of our flourishing.
One of the things that resonated with me from her was “Do we speak to ourselves the way the Holy Spirit speaks to us? Or are we a bully?”
This reminded me of the story of Cain. After he killed his brother Abel, the Lord said
“What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.”
13 Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is more than I can bear. 14 Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.”
15 But the Lord said to him, “Not so; anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. 16 So Cain went out from the Lord’s presence and lived in the land of Nod east of Eden.”
– Genesis 4:10-16
The Lord put a curse on Cain that he would be a wanderer and be unfruitful in harvests. Cain, however, took it a step further and cursed himself, saying that he would be hidden from God’s presence, and that whoever found him would kill him. God never said that. Yes, there were consequences, but God was not abandoning Cain. He actually protected Cain. In spite of that, Cain removed himself from the Lord’s presence and wandered the land.
Cain was harder on himself than God was with him. How often are we like that to ourselves? How often do we beat ourselves up about something that God has forgiven us for and given grace for?
It’s natural to want to be better or do better than our current state, but giving ourselves a hard time is not the Holy Spirit’s way. Jesus described the Holy Spirit as advocate or comfortor (depending on your bible version) in John 14:26 . The Holy Spirit is meant to comfort, advocate for and otherwise support us.
I don’t know how you feel the Holy Spirit, but I’ve always felt it being gentle and encouraging while also convicting. The Holy Spirit has been a huge part of my growth, and most of it was from those gentle nudges.
God’s ways are so much higher than our ways, so why not stop condemning ourselves and try His gentle way on ourselves? After all, Jesus did not come to this world to condemn, but to save us and extend incredible love and grace towards us. Why shouldn’t we take that grace extended to us and showed it to ourselves?