When we talk about Kingdom Parenting we are trying to raise the huios (mature sons). Fully complete, lacking nothing. When we look at the ultimate mature son, Jesus Christ – we see a man who was raised and became a huios. He was one who did not just hear and ignore – He listened and obeyed.
Kingdom Parenting is not just about one’s biological children, it is the people you influence and care for. I shared a testimony a couple months back that my staff’s very own mother took me aside and thanked me. She said, “you are more than a boss to my daughter, you are like a father to her”. Kingdom Parents will influence, guide, and lead anyone whom the Lord puts in your care a little closer to the Lord.
As we continue to learn what it means to be Kingdom Parents, I want to make it very clear: Perfect parenting does not mean perfect children. Look at Adam & Eve. We do our best, but we still must lean into the grace of mercy of God. We can’t control everything, but we ask the one who holds the whole earth in the palm of His hands to guide and protect those He places in our paths.
Train Up a Child:
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it
As parents, we must train our children deliberately and purposefully. Children need training. They are not born self-sufficient – they must be trained. One of the most frustrating positions to be in is to be in a situation and simply have no idea what to do. I once told Justus to change the milk bag, he was taking so long that when I went to check on him I saw him trying to use a knife to poke a hole through the bag! I simply showed him to get scissors, hold the bag carefully and cut the edge – telling and training are much different.
There are always major challenges to deal with in Kingdom Parenting. The first of these is the simple truth that parents can only parent the way they themselves were parented – but that doesn’t mean we cannot do better.
Learning solid biblical principles of parenting is the key to breaking those negative patterns, but it will not always be easy:
When we first had Hope, Justus shared with grandma a very sad statement, he said: “everybody loves Hopey because she is so cute, but not everybody loves me”. At this time he was also acting up a lot – specifically with Karyne. As we prayed and observed, we realized that this boy absolutely LOVES hugs. Yet, when people come over to our home to visit new baby Hopey, they would hold her and say, “she is so cute”. Justus being 3.5 years old at this point, not everyone could pick him up and do the same! In terms of love languages, if Karyne loves you she will plan, clean, prepare, walk, do anything for you! But she won’t hug you. If physical touch as a love language is out of 10, she is a -5.
Karyne made a conscious and intentional decision in a biblical principle: “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”. Karyne would lay down her own ways of affection and provide love in the way that Justus needed – lots of hugs and cuddles! Justus never said those words again and he stopped acting up at the same time.
Because all human beings are sinners, none of us had perfect parents and none of us will be perfect parents. All we can do is learn the biblical principles, commit our way as parents unto the Lord, and trust Him to work powerfully in our children’s lives beyond what we can do on our own.
This world desperately needs Kingdom Parents. This is something that God has been placing on my heart. I pray that we would answer the call.