As many of you have heard, from May to August I’ll be taking a leave of absence from my staff position at Lifespring to finish my PhD program (watch the announcement here: https://youtu.be/PhduQxbe9bw?t=2503). I’m glad for the leadership team being willing to let me take this time off to finish what God had put on my heart years ago, and I’m encouraged by the support of people in the Lifespring family who are praying for me and even taking some of my responsibilities during my leave.
One of the first steps in tackling this project was creating a schedule for my work. I scheduled the next four months, setting out how I was going to get from where I am today to a finished dissertation in August. As I looked at the schedule I’d created, I realized how daunting a task I have in front of me. There seems like so much to do, and so little time to do it! Feeling a bit anxious about the months ahead, I decided to do some listening prayer about this.
What I heard from God was simple, but really resonated with me. I heard something to the effect of, “Do what you can, and let me do the rest.” I think God was trying to say two things to me.
First, God was telling me to “do what you can.” I need to do everything I can to complete this project. My mind went to our memory verse from 2 Peter 1:5-8, especially verse 5 that says, “make every effort.” This part of 2 Peter encourages us to make a sincere effort to grow in grace and character. We are to make every effort to add to our faith goodness, and to goodness, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control, and so on–all for the purpose of growing in grace and character.
I thought about this in relation to my project. I need to do everything that I can to work toward finishing my dissertation by August. From making a schedule, to committing time to work, to monitoring my progress, to getting rid of distractions–these were the things I needed to do on a daily basis to make sure I’m making every effort.
But there was also a second thing that God was saying to me, which was “let me do the rest.” Ultimately, the outcome of my work doesn’t depend on my effort alone. Whether this dissertation is successful or not isn’t based just on my effort. Whether I’m successful as a PhD isn’t dependent on my smarts, gifts, abilities, or strength. Of course, God has given me some of those things to help me on my journey. But in the end, whether or not I’m successful won’t be dependent on my effort or abilities, but on God’s grace.
In many ways, I think the fact that I’m even doing a PhD is a testimony to God’s grace. I’ve honestly never been a star student. I can name countless times that I’ve struggled academically to make the grade. The fact that I’m in a PhD program is a testament not to my smarts, but how powerful God’s grace can be. I can honestly say that I’m living under the power of God’s grace and goodness in my life.
Maybe you can relate to that in your own walk with God. One of my favorite lines from the song Goodness of God is, “Your goodness is running after me.” The fact that I’ve made it this far as a student is a testimony of God’s goodness and grace running after me. Are there ways you’re experiencing God’s goodness running after you? Are there moments you can remember of God’s grace being real in your life? If so, give thanks!
The goodness and grace of God should never be treated as an excuse to not make an effort. If anything, it should make us run to God and desire to make an even greater effort. My prayer is that as we experience the grace of God in our lives, we would respond by running toward God, knowing that God’s grace is present even in our weaknesses and shortcomings (2 Cor 12:9).