It is October 2024. At the beginning of the year, we felt the Lord guide the Lifespring Family towards Patient Endurance. Just over 10 months in, am I more patient? Can I endure more? I don’t know. I still feel weak, I still feel broken at times, and I still ask, “have I/we made any progress?” Yet, in God’s goodness, I felt God say, “that is exactly where I want you to be.”
One of the challenges the Lord has been putting on my heart for the Lifespring family, is the question, “are you closer to being a Pharisee or to being broken?” And honestly, I knew the Lord was trying to get my attention, because I knew the answer was broken. However, the truth was Pharisee.
I really do love God. I make every effort to follow His ways (righteousness) and be obedient to His guidance (listen well and obey quickly). I don’t live in “wild living” anymore. I rarely curse. I think I am a pretty good Christian! But the Lord in His loving way brings back to mind “are you closer to being a Pharisee or to being broken?”
I’m not telling you to go live wildly, start cursing, and break commandments, but I am convicted that God is more interested in my heart than in my ways. Guidance in patient endurance for 2024, I am realizing, has nothing to do with how we are supposed to respond, but has everything to do with our hearts. God is not trying to get us to just pray more, tithe more, do more good works, etc. He is actually after our hearts.
Siang-Yang said it best this past summer:
“Biblical suffering goes beyond emphasizing potential benefits of suffering. A biblical view of suffering will focus on knowing God (trust) and sharing in the fellowship of Christ sufferings (for others). Benefits and blessing may not be apparent in suffering, but God is still doing His work. Biblical suffering is Christ and cross centered – requiring His power of the Holy Spirit as the Divine Comforter and Counselor.
When God seems most absent from us, He is doing His most important work in us. Whether it is shattered dreams, ministry of the night, dark night of the soul, etc, all of them have brokenness at the centre. Psalm 51:16-17 states
“You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart you, God, You will not despise”.
Such biblical brokenness, holy and healthy, is precious to God and essential for us in Christian spiritual formation into deeper Christ-likeness (maturity).”
My initial questions of ‘am I more patient?’ and ‘Can I endure more?’ were actually the wrong questions for a year of Patient Endurance. The right question should be, ‘am I more broken, Lord, for You?’
I love you deeply Lifespring Family. Please know that I am praying for you all. Not that you just become a better Christian, but that you become closer to Jesus a little bit more every day. Amen.