Imagine you went out for dinner at a restaurant with a bunch of people you never met before and the person you sat across started making racial comments about your racial group to the people next to them.
What would you do? How would you respond?
As someone who is non-confrontational and a minimizer by nature, I can tell you that I’m not the type to escalate these types of situations. That does not mean that I won’t be upset and angry, but rather it just means I would internally process before I externally express.
With that being said, I was forced with two choices:
- Get angry and upset and prove to them that what they think about my racial group may indeed be true.
- Try and prove them wrong by responding in the opposite way of what they expect of my racial group.
Sometimes it can be hard to get past the feelings of anger when people make comments that are hurtful. What helped me make my decision was asking myself, why were they saying these things in the first place?
Maybe the person was bullied by my racial group growing up. Maybe they had bad experiences interacting with my racial group. Either way it was clear to me that there was some time of offense, pain or hurt that my racial group may have caused him.
It was later mentioned that they wanted to get a manager position and my racial group seemed to be the reason why they couldn’t. It seems that my racial group was getting in the way of his promotion which gave him reason to despise them.
I am not justifying his actions but simply trying to understand where he is coming from and most importantly where he is hurting.
As I read the scripture in Zechariah 7:9-10 (NLT) that says “9 This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Judge fairly, and show mercy and kindness to one another. 10 Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners, and the poor. And do not scheme against each other.”
I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t play out scenarios in my head where I was with my boys from back in the day and how we would have handled this situation very differently. I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t think of how I could get back at this person but God’s word calls us to live differently.
I’m challenged to judge fairly and show mercy and kindness to one another. For me, judging fairly is not just accepting what was said for face value but looking deeper into what was really happening. Judging fairly was taking into consideration their hurts and pains and viewing their comments through the lens of brokenness.
When I think about oppressing the poor, I am reminded of a lesson Sam Lai taught me. He said that poverty is not always about material possessions and its not always seen from the outside. If poverty is something that can be both internal and external, tangible and intangible, then maybe it can be viewed differently. If poverty is seen as being deficient in something or in some area in your life, then we have all experienced some form of poverty in our lives; physically, emotionally, spiritually etc.
Perhaps the person that made those comments was poor in love. I know when I’m deficient in love, it’s hard for me to show kindness and mercy to others.
I’ll be honest with you. I don’t know exactly what is the right thing to do. I don’t even know if my kindness and mercy will change the mind of this person. But I do know a God who can change the hardest of hearts. I know that when God responds to us in our pain and hurt, it’s out of grace not fairness. I’ve experienced the power of God’s love in my own life, so I turn to what I know best. I turn to the God who can love more than I can love and has the power to heal any human heart. I prayed that God would heal both of our hearts so that we may live in the fullness God has for us.
My prayer is that we would never forget the power of God’s love in our lives. I pray that we would turn to him in our pain and brokenness so that He can heal us and His love can be seen through us. Help us father to see others the way you see us. May we learn to judge fairly, and show mercy and kindness to one another. Let us not oppress others but show God’s grace wherever we go. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen!